frannyan | Entries tagged with pointless update is pointless

So for everyone I don't already pester on IM, Twitter or Plurk:

NEW APARTMENT: GET

Move in date is the 15th. Stuff can get started moving the 12.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa packing aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

I'm just getting to a point where I just couldn't give a shit less about so many things. -_-

Nobody cares about the shit I do, that's fine, whatever. I don't really share any interests with people. I've stopped caring about card game stuff long ago. I cared more about the Sennen Item plotlines than the duels even back at the start and the cards are what they continued on about, so I kinda never really went too far with the sequels. But that's what half my friends list likes so I just kinda listen in and try and pay attention.

I don't like Shakespeare. I kinda sorta like running around like a monkey for theater and I'm starting to worry that I somehow signed up to be more in charge of something other than making sure things run smoothly and taking car of what's been set up. Nothing in common with that group either.

I'm not a teacher. I work in a school, think the whole system is full of shit and don't really like most of my coworkers. I like playing with the data and making it accessible and TRYING to start change so things work better. Only noone understands a thing that I do. It's like maaaagic. Nothing in common there.

I have one friend in town who is not living in this house with me. We both like anime in general and vaguely video games. Barely see her because she's a bigger hikikomori than I am.

Starting to feel frustrated with where I live. There's nothing in Rutland but a few small stores and a bunch of strip malls. There's nothing really in Poutlney but a small main street.

I have noone to talk to outside of my house about things I enjoy doing, what few they are. And mostly that just entails "Look at this thing I made! Gimme feedback!"

Starting to feel inches away from flipping everything, grabbing Judy and driving off into the sunset or something.

just-- fuck everything.

( cut for people who don't care )

Some things are just bad combinations.

Like sleep deprivation and new appliances, fire and expensive antiques, college students and free beer night.

And anxiety and hyperactivity.

OH GOD I AM A FLAILING MASS OF AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! FOR NO GOOD REASON! NONE AT ALL!

At least now that I'm HOME I CAN be a twitching mass of arg arg arg arg arg arg flailing running about lemme make popcorn no I don't know why my stomach feels like that HEY DID YOU SEE MY TWEET STORM ABOUT RED DYE 40 HAVE I MENTIONED MY ATTENTION SPAN DIED AT ABOUT 9:30 HOW ABOUT THAT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA so the anxiety part is going down a little. And that whole "why ye I did wear a Transformers T-shirt to work today I WAS BEING WITTY because lol favorite team day shut up I don't care that it was sports teams I DON'T KNOW SPORTS" thing and oh god I am not making any sense.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeee~

Current Music: The hut on Chicken Legs

( Hark, a meme! )

So I'm thinking maybe next year for New Years, maybe I aught to, ya know, do something.

New Years stopped feeling any different once staying up past midnight started being an everyday thing. I mean, even then it was just me and my brother staying up all night watching Marx brothers' movies or something.

I dunno. Just me and my lack of a handle on this whole time thing makes New Years just... well. Another day.

Yeah, IDK. Holidays yet again this year just kinda sailed on by without me having a clue. I need a life.

ON A WHIM I went "oh hey, there should be more Shiki out." And low and behold, there was!

The last 3 eps.

Which I started watching

At midnight.

It's 2am.

I am still flailing.

GEEEEENIUUUUS

... freaking anime. *shakes fist*

..and yeah, I still totally recommend it. WTF was that even.

ALSO I WAS RIGHT FROM MY FIRST PREDICTION ON WHO WOULD LIVE. HA!

... and the instant I start typing that "Coming home to Terra" plays in all it's cheesy glory. Thank you computer, I missed you too.

So. Yeah. Got up at 6 am again today. Was antsy as hell for an hour before looking at the weather map and going "aw HELL NO I am not being snowed in at the In laws for 2 days." Judy and I got packing, woke the in laws, stuffed the car and got the hell out by like... 8-9ish.

So yeah. Me and my head cold self powered through the 4-5 hour drive and got the hell home. Only saw flurries.

It's snowing in NYC right now.

AW YEAH BEAT THE STORM HOW'S THAT NOW?!~

Because I'd rather ride out the rest of this miserable ass cold at home that with either set of parents.

But yeah. Other than being sick as hell, Xmas was decent. Would have been better if I could breeeeeth and thus sleeeeeeeeeeeep but hey, details. :D

We got a GPS (Judy has named it GLADOS because it kept trying to tell us to go a different way than we wanted to on the way home :D) which was a cool toy. Dad made faces at the guinea pigs, but everyone else loved em. (Well, Judy's dad was all "...." but whatever, daddies are daddies. :))

Fever is gone, YEAY and I am HOME so yeah.

It can snow now. :D

I totally love when things that aren't really Xmasy get grouped into Xmas clearance. Got a nice pack of ink pads that goes from blue to white on clearance because it was lumped that way.

I also got the DERPEST set of Xmas stamps for 4 bucks. Totally worth it.

So the transfer of Fran-web to KnN has occurred and everything seems to be working. Though I just realized last night that 99% of my Fran-web email was now going into my spam box because I had it set on an automatic redirect and GMail was all "SMELLS OF PROCESSED MEAT" AAAAAH as result, I missed the reminder notice for my charge bill and wound up paying it late last night. When it was due yesterday. Reeeeally hoping that it counts as being close enough to on time that I won't get whammed with a fee @_@ Need to transition to having everything go to Gmail anyway @_@

Almost have all the cards promised out! Just... have 3 sitting there waiting. Just need to finish the envelope on one set and, ya know, actually write something in them (WHOOPS) and then finish up the last one. I have the face of it done!

Sue gushed when she saw the card I made her and said I should sell them. Yeeeah with my lack of motivation? Phhht. But it was nice that she liked it. :) We also got each other more or less the same gift :D Hot cocoa and chocolate :D

So. Yeah. Pointless update is pointless as always! :)

It's kinda weird. Within the year I've gotten a few CDs from bands I used to listen to all the time. Got the latest Depeche Mode album and just....

didn't like it.

Listened to it once and then stuck it on the shelf. It was both at the same time, different than their earlier stuff, yet totally the same as their last album I got. Only I liked the last album (which I only just finally got the non-live version of the album of. ... I like the live one better. The studio cuts just... kinda... suck.) This one just... it didn't have any of the parts I liked and seemed to develop the parts I didn't. It was like the 5Ds of Depeche Mode. [god what a sentance :D] Disappointing, but whatever.

So then I also got the latest Tori Amos album. [or at least I think it's the latest, I haven't kept up with music at ALL] and after having it sit around for a month, mp3ed it and mixed it into the rotation.

And so far everything on it sounds exactly like her previous stuff. And I'm just as meh about it as I was about the DM album.

Also picked up a Metalica album I used to have in middle school and gave it a listen. And wow, this... kinda sucks. I used to really like this album and I'm just sitting here going "... there's nothing to this. What the hell, self."

Starting to wonder if I'm turning into one of those "NOTHING NEW" sorta people. @_@ Only not cause I'm still picking up soundtrack stuff, Jpop and mashups. I've actually gotten real fond of mashups between current pop and 80s stuff. And also leaning more towards dance/techno and some more mainstream pop. [At least I think it's mainstream, I haven't listened to the radio in ages, fuckall if I know what's popular. @_@]

I dunno. I used to pride myself on the fact that I liked different things than everyone else. But really...

I think I just like popular music.

Somehow it feels like admitting that is almost shameful or something. I dunno.

Yet at the same time, I'm very slow to introduce new music into my rotations.

Is this what it feels like to be hitting adulthood proper? Resistant to change, yet kinda cranky with the old stuff?

Sometimes I just look back at stuff I used to do and like and wonder why I stopped. Other times I wonder why I started.

I'm starting with the crafting thing again. The urge for making videos is still kinda there but keeps being sat on by things on the computer exploding ><. The theater bug is kinda... floating. (I blame my crap motivation for that)

I think this is why I'm not gonna do the grad school thing, and why I'm perfectly happy to stay at the job I'm at. I don't want to try going for a career kinda job where you are actually in a field or whatever. I'm in a job with a decent pay per hour, a great boss, and where I get to fiddle around with numbers and organize things. [something that's just been getting stronger the more I get to indulge in it. Though it's getting more refined to "oooh, I wanna see how..." dunno how much more C&C stats I'll e doing just because.. eh. I proved my point there. Research to be done is in another area, really. And doesn't require time stamping. SIDE RAMBLE]

It's like how I always was swapping majors. Floating interest. Like how the environmental thing is just... total back burner. Tired of reading labels, tired of not doing things because their wasteful. I think that's a lot of why I stopped crafting. But fuck it, making things is FUN. Doubt I'll go back to candling cause god that made a mess and then the candles just stat around, but I'm really enjoying playing around with stamps and now that I've realized "Oh hey! I can make cards for people! SWEET." it's really taking off. I think that was part of why it never went anywhere past hording stamps last time I was into this stuff [like, oh god, middle school? Mail order catalog and ordering a stamp with my full name, it HAD to be. (wonder if I still have those somewhere. AAAH NESTED PARENTHESES)]

So. Yeah. I think I lost my point in there somewhere. @_@

Maybe I should try and track down the music suggestions from people and actually... ya know.. follow up on them. ^^;;;;; Stop trying to pick up new stuff from old bands I liked and just acknowledge that I don't listen to them any longer.

Not getting rid of any of my cds because phhht, every time I do that, 2 years later I'm all "Dude, why did I get rid of that? T_T"

Oh yeah: First CD I ever got was Ace of Base - The Sign.

And I kind wish I still had it.

I LIKE CHEESY MUSIC.

*Feels better and finally ends this ramble*

Edit: Also. I need to do more with my photos. Even if it's just going through the old ones and uploading them somewhere if not taking more. STOP BEING SO LAZY, SELF.

Current Mood: contemplative

Sometimes I think I pick up too much from others around me emotion wise.

I was fine when I got home, went and checked a few things...

And now, for no reason of my own, I'm having background anxiety. Seriously, this came out of nowhere and I can't place it. There was a bunch of anxiety on my friends list, which is the only thing I can even think of that might have triggered it.

I don't get it. O.o

It's not even RP related since I was fine when checking things there. O.o

Just... out of freaking nowhere, a random small spike of anxiety/depression. And a feeling like I need a nap.

...

I think I may need to eat.

So I just realized that with how my hair is cut, it almost matches my icon. :D

Now I just need to drop 100 lbs and I can totally look like my Duel Monsters doppleganger :D

Slightly alarming realization: According to this calorie counter thinigi, it takes 2,426 calories to maintain my weight. Today, I pigged out and had 3 slices of pizza. And I still just baaaaarely made 2,000 cal. And if that's on a piggy day, I'm almost afraid of what my cal intake is on a normal "whoops, I forgot to eat lunch" day. Especially when I have been steadily gaining weight when I used to be stable. (I've gained 35 lbs in the last two years after holding at 220 for years and slowly moving down to 210. And then busting my knee.) So. Gonna track my cal intake for a while and then go to the doctor's with a "Yeah, I though I was gaining cause I was eating like crap but... numbers."

I seriously need to trade this body in for a better working model. I am too young for this, seriously. Thank goodness for insurance! @_@

Planties update: We think the mystery not bean may be a gourd! Shaped like a butternut but not at all a butternut and FUZZY oh god it's fuzzy and so soft~

My work printer apparently was hungry. It ate part of itself. One of the belts that moves the paper along is just kinda hanging out, not attached to anything any more. *had toner nailpolish for a little while*

Actually had a nightmare last night. One that I physically broke out of (and nearly smacked Juchan upside the head doing so @_@.) Haven't had one of those in a long while. Purely physical based too. Was in a car and the person driving decided to just start driving around in a circle and turn the ride into a centrifuge even with me screaming for them to stop. They finally did for like.. 15 seconds. Then the went to start again. So I went to hit them and then I was awake. It made for a weird morning @_@

And I won something! free dvd aw yeah! Looks like a neat movie. Will watch at some point~

I have started working on knitting again! Current project: Crazy blankets! Using up started skeins and leftover bits, making rectangles with intent to sew em together. One's gonna be all roughly the same type of yarn, one is just gonna be LOTS OF RANDOM THINGS WHEEE.

Anxiety is yet again spiking, which is a problem. Taking steps to try and ease one of the causes, well see if it helps.

and it needs to stop being so hoooot so I can exercise more with out meeeeltttiing T_T

So, out of curiosity: What, if anything, would you guys say I'm passionate about/nerdy over/really into?

Another post of "oh hey I logged in" whee.

So I am apparently doing that not eating thing again. Where I don't quuuite remember what I ate yesterday in the "I think I just had an apple and some crackers WHOOPS" sort of way. So now I feel like @_@ and want to just sleeeeep.

WEEK AND A HALF TIL WORK STARTS OH GOD MAKE IT BE HERE SOONER @_@

12 days into the month and Kristen hasn't been here at all and thus, hasn't packed at all. Granted, she didn't really UNpack the entire time she was here so most of her books and DVDs are still in boxes but.. We have no idea when she's moving out. @_@ Or who we're getting in her place when she goes. @_@ But! Sennet is finally making progress on the loan for the year of rent she owes us! *flop*

And I now no longer have a hamster. Panda died sometime yesterday. Sennet buried her in the yard last night.

I don't really feel much regarding her, though. When Shou died, I was a wreck, sobbing my eyes out for hours. He was my first pet, after all. I sniffled when Jumpy died, and I think since then, I've been expecting Panda to join her.

Hamsters really don't make good pets. Panda was I think 2 years old. Shou was 3. It goes by far too quickly. And we didn't play with them much because we were always worried they'd jump out of our hands and hide under the sofa or get lost in the apartment.

I dunno. There's been talk of maybe getting guinea pig [and jokes about the name to give it if it's a squeaky/whiny one. Especially if it's a ginger.] but I dunno. Maybe we're just better off not having a pet for now.

Man. I have got to start eating right. Doesn't do me ANY good to have iron levels if I do this crap to myself. @_@