frannyan: (YinYang)
frannyan ([personal profile] frannyan) wrote2011-04-13 09:48 pm

(no subject)

I'm just getting to a point where I just couldn't give a shit less about so many things. -_-

Nobody cares about the shit I do, that's fine, whatever. I don't really share any interests with people. I've stopped caring about card game stuff long ago. I cared more about the Sennen Item plotlines than the duels even back at the start and the cards are what they continued on about, so I kinda never really went too far with the sequels. But that's what half my friends list likes so I just kinda listen in and try and pay attention.

I don't like Shakespeare. I kinda sorta like running around like a monkey for theater and I'm starting to worry that I somehow signed up to be more in charge of something other than making sure things run smoothly and taking car of what's been set up. Nothing in common with that group either.

I'm not a teacher. I work in a school, think the whole system is full of shit and don't really like most of my coworkers. I like playing with the data and making it accessible and TRYING to start change so things work better. Only noone understands a thing that I do. It's like maaaagic. Nothing in common there.

I have one friend in town who is not living in this house with me. We both like anime in general and vaguely video games. Barely see her because she's a bigger hikikomori than I am.

Starting to feel frustrated with where I live. There's nothing in Rutland but a few small stores and a bunch of strip malls. There's nothing really in Poutlney but a small main street.

I have noone to talk to outside of my house about things I enjoy doing, what few they are. And mostly that just entails "Look at this thing I made! Gimme feedback!"

Starting to feel inches away from flipping everything, grabbing Judy and driving off into the sunset or something.

just-- fuck everything.


[identity profile] 2011-04-27 11:08 am (UTC)(link)
I don't really know what to tell you. That's been a good part of my life since high school. Either people don't like (or simply don't understand) the things I like or they don't like the things I like the way I like them which is frustrating.

I don't know how to silence the part of the brain that wants acceptance (or at least approval) of these things from others but I do know you have to forge on ahead regardless. It's hard to convince yourself some days that the things you love doing are worth doing simply because you love doing them but if you give up on them, then what do you have except endless bouts of (occasionally severe) depression?