frannyan: (YinYang)
I'm just getting to a point where I just couldn't give a shit less about so many things. -_-

Nobody cares about the shit I do, that's fine, whatever. I don't really share any interests with people. I've stopped caring about card game stuff long ago. I cared more about the Sennen Item plotlines than the duels even back at the start and the cards are what they continued on about, so I kinda never really went too far with the sequels. But that's what half my friends list likes so I just kinda listen in and try and pay attention.

I don't like Shakespeare. I kinda sorta like running around like a monkey for theater and I'm starting to worry that I somehow signed up to be more in charge of something other than making sure things run smoothly and taking car of what's been set up. Nothing in common with that group either.

I'm not a teacher. I work in a school, think the whole system is full of shit and don't really like most of my coworkers. I like playing with the data and making it accessible and TRYING to start change so things work better. Only noone understands a thing that I do. It's like maaaagic. Nothing in common there.

I have one friend in town who is not living in this house with me. We both like anime in general and vaguely video games. Barely see her because she's a bigger hikikomori than I am.

Starting to feel frustrated with where I live. There's nothing in Rutland but a few small stores and a bunch of strip malls. There's nothing really in Poutlney but a small main street.

I have noone to talk to outside of my house about things I enjoy doing, what few they are. And mostly that just entails "Look at this thing I made! Gimme feedback!"

Starting to feel inches away from flipping everything, grabbing Judy and driving off into the sunset or something.

just-- fuck everything.
frannyan: (Default)
... soooo.


It's -23.7 deg out. [We have a "snow" day because of the extreme cold]

It's 66.5 deg in.

It should be 70 deg in.

The heater keeps kicking on and off.

There is a not to nice smell that smells kinda gassy in the stairwell.

Landlord says "Long as you have heat, probably nothing's wrong."

We can't even get into the basement to check cause -23.7 deg out ahahaha no, we are not going out side and around the house through the snow to get to the basement to check.

The upstairs heat is fine. It's radiant floor, not radiators. I'm pretty sure it's electric. We already moved the boys up there.

Much as I love this apartment...

I think we're gonna look for a new place come spring/summer.

Jim is never here, doesn't get things fixed in a timely manner [Still don't have a new vent/microwave in the kitchen.] does patch up jobs of most things [the molding in the kitchen that looks so nice was never attached to the wall and now it's warped because IT'S BEHIND THE SINK WHERE IT GETS DAMP.] and I don't feel comfortable with a lot of the things he does.

This is an expensive apartment. It worked out very nicely when Jim was still working on the 2nd apartment because he was here and could fix things. But he's never around. The basement is still always freezing, there is very little weather proofing (guess who pays the heating bill? Yep, it's us!) and it's starting to hit the Larry pattern where we're taking the fall for a crappy tenant in the other apartment because he's always catering to her, even though she keeps breaking shit and causing problems.

So yeah. Come spring, I think we're gonna start looking again. Love the apartment, love the location, getting so so tired of the shady landlording.
frannyan: (Posessed Aussa)
.... so. Next door came home last night.

She came over late last night to ask if we had heat because hers wasn't working. She had turned hers down to 55 before she left for break.

Didn't think anything of it last night.

But this morning, the downstairs bathrooom wasn't flushing right. No amount of plunging would fix it. So Sennet went down to the basement to check things out.

And heard water running.

Turns out that the pipes froze. And busted.

She's been back for less than 24 hours and she broke the house.

it's 13 degrees out and we have no water.


I really hope this is the last straw and Jim BOOTS HER ASS OUT.
frannyan: (YinYang)
It's kinda weird. Within the year I've gotten a few CDs from bands I used to listen to all the time. Got the latest Depeche Mode album and just....

didn't like it.

Listened to it once and then stuck it on the shelf. It was both at the same time, different than their earlier stuff, yet totally the same as their last album I got. Only I liked the last album (which I only just finally got the non-live version of the album of. ... I like the live one better. The studio cuts just... kinda... suck.) This one just... it didn't have any of the parts I liked and seemed to develop the parts I didn't. It was like the 5Ds of Depeche Mode. [god what a sentance :D] Disappointing, but whatever.

So then I also got the latest Tori Amos album. [or at least I think it's the latest, I haven't kept up with music at ALL] and after having it sit around for a month, mp3ed it and mixed it into the rotation.

And so far everything on it sounds exactly like her previous stuff. And I'm just as meh about it as I was about the DM album.

Also picked up a Metalica album I used to have in middle school and gave it a listen. And wow, this... kinda sucks. I used to really like this album and I'm just sitting here going "... there's nothing to this. What the hell, self."

Starting to wonder if I'm turning into one of those "NOTHING NEW" sorta people. @_@ Only not cause I'm still picking up soundtrack stuff, Jpop and mashups. I've actually gotten real fond of mashups between current pop and 80s stuff. And also leaning more towards dance/techno and some more mainstream pop. [At least I think it's mainstream, I haven't listened to the radio in ages, fuckall if I know what's popular. @_@]

I dunno. I used to pride myself on the fact that I liked different things than everyone else. But really...

I think I just like popular music.

Somehow it feels like admitting that is almost shameful or something. I dunno.

Yet at the same time, I'm very slow to introduce new music into my rotations.

Is this what it feels like to be hitting adulthood proper? Resistant to change, yet kinda cranky with the old stuff?

Sometimes I just look back at stuff I used to do and like and wonder why I stopped. Other times I wonder why I started.

I'm starting with the crafting thing again. The urge for making videos is still kinda there but keeps being sat on by things on the computer exploding ><. The theater bug is kinda... floating. (I blame my crap motivation for that)

I think this is why I'm not gonna do the grad school thing, and why I'm perfectly happy to stay at the job I'm at. I don't want to try going for a career kinda job where you are actually in a field or whatever. I'm in a job with a decent pay per hour, a great boss, and where I get to fiddle around with numbers and organize things. [something that's just been getting stronger the more I get to indulge in it. Though it's getting more refined to "oooh, I wanna see how..." dunno how much more C&C stats I'll e doing just because.. eh. I proved my point there. Research to be done is in another area, really. And doesn't require time stamping. SIDE RAMBLE]

It's like how I always was swapping majors. Floating interest. Like how the environmental thing is just... total back burner. Tired of reading labels, tired of not doing things because their wasteful. I think that's a lot of why I stopped crafting. But fuck it, making things is FUN. Doubt I'll go back to candling cause god that made a mess and then the candles just stat around, but I'm really enjoying playing around with stamps and now that I've realized "Oh hey! I can make cards for people! SWEET." it's really taking off. I think that was part of why it never went anywhere past hording stamps last time I was into this stuff [like, oh god, middle school? Mail order catalog and ordering a stamp with my full name, it HAD to be. (wonder if I still have those somewhere. AAAH NESTED PARENTHESES)]

So. Yeah. I think I lost my point in there somewhere. @_@

Maybe I should try and track down the music suggestions from people and actually... ya know.. follow up on them. ^^;;;;; Stop trying to pick up new stuff from old bands I liked and just acknowledge that I don't listen to them any longer.

Not getting rid of any of my cds because phhht, every time I do that, 2 years later I'm all "Dude, why did I get rid of that? T_T"

Oh yeah: First CD I ever got was Ace of Base - The Sign.

And I kind wish I still had it.

I LIKE CHEESY MUSIC.

*Feels better and finally ends this ramble*

Edit: Also. I need to do more with my photos. Even if it's just going through the old ones and uploading them somewhere if not taking more. STOP BEING SO LAZY, SELF.
frannyan: (Wind Elemental)
Sometimes I think I pick up too much from others around me emotion wise.

I was fine when I got home, went and checked a few things...

And now, for no reason of my own, I'm having background anxiety. Seriously, this came out of nowhere and I can't place it. There was a bunch of anxiety on my friends list, which is the only thing I can even think of that might have triggered it.

I don't get it. O.o

It's not even RP related since I was fine when checking things there. O.o

Just... out of freaking nowhere, a random small spike of anxiety/depression. And a feeling like I need a nap.

...

I think I may need to eat.
frannyan: (YinYang)
Another post of "oh hey I logged in" whee.

So I am apparently doing that not eating thing again. Where I don't quuuite remember what I ate yesterday in the "I think I just had an apple and some crackers WHOOPS" sort of way. So now I feel like @_@ and want to just sleeeeep.

WEEK AND A HALF TIL WORK STARTS OH GOD MAKE IT BE HERE SOONER @_@


12 days into the month and Kristen hasn't been here at all and thus, hasn't packed at all. Granted, she didn't really UNpack the entire time she was here so most of her books and DVDs are still in boxes but.. We have no idea when she's moving out. @_@ Or who we're getting in her place when she goes. @_@ But! Sennet is finally making progress on the loan for the year of rent she owes us! *flop*

And I now no longer have a hamster. Panda died sometime yesterday. Sennet buried her in the yard last night.

I don't really feel much regarding her, though. When Shou died, I was a wreck, sobbing my eyes out for hours. He was my first pet, after all. I sniffled when Jumpy died, and I think since then, I've been expecting Panda to join her.

Hamsters really don't make good pets. Panda was I think 2 years old. Shou was 3. It goes by far too quickly. And we didn't play with them much because we were always worried they'd jump out of our hands and hide under the sofa or get lost in the apartment.

I dunno. There's been talk of maybe getting guinea pig [and jokes about the name to give it if it's a squeaky/whiny one. Especially if it's a ginger.] but I dunno. Maybe we're just better off not having a pet for now.

Man. I have got to start eating right. Doesn't do me ANY good to have iron levels if I do this crap to myself. @_@

Bleh

Nov. 19th, 2009 06:16 pm
frannyan: (Wind Elemental)
[Warning grousing about RPG stuff, RL people feel free to ignore!]

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