frannyan | Entries tagged with bitch bitch moan moan

I'm just a bundle of ARG and repressed flailing and stress so bad right now. I want that house. I want it bad. I want to get out of this fucking apartment and into a place that doesn't have horrible drafts and an abusive manipulative landlord. The house for rent we went to see is NICE and the lady showing us was all "and if that breaks, we'll fix it, my husband is handyman, he fixes everything." It has a semi finished basement [aka, THERE IS A FLOOR IT IS NOT JUST DIRT] and attic [Ditto, there is a floor, it could be a spare bedroom as long as it's not winter] Landlord takes care of some of the grounds work [the flower beds/landscaping stuff.] there is a HUGE garden plot, a front and back enclosed porch EVERYTHING LOOKS SO NICE AND NOT HALF ASSED T_T. There is even a two car garage WITH STORAGE BEHIND.

And you know how you can walk into a place and tell if it's well isolated/sealed? Yeah. There's even new windows that are the double pained glass.

But yeah. Nice sized house. Not to big but we don't NEED big. And the landlord takes care of the water bill, and they only used around 350 gallons of oil last winter. Which, considering this house has gone through 300 gallons in the past TWO MONTHS in the SPRING end of winter?

Yeah. We will be saving so much utilities money on this place.

Do want. Do want so bad I am ANTSY AS ALL FUCK.

I really just... I need the change. I need the nice the lack of freaking ANTS and assholes and noisy parties next door and people walking off with my bike and moving my solar stakes and just ARG.

I'm just getting to a point where I just couldn't give a shit less about so many things. -_-

Nobody cares about the shit I do, that's fine, whatever. I don't really share any interests with people. I've stopped caring about card game stuff long ago. I cared more about the Sennen Item plotlines than the duels even back at the start and the cards are what they continued on about, so I kinda never really went too far with the sequels. But that's what half my friends list likes so I just kinda listen in and try and pay attention.

I don't like Shakespeare. I kinda sorta like running around like a monkey for theater and I'm starting to worry that I somehow signed up to be more in charge of something other than making sure things run smoothly and taking car of what's been set up. Nothing in common with that group either.

I'm not a teacher. I work in a school, think the whole system is full of shit and don't really like most of my coworkers. I like playing with the data and making it accessible and TRYING to start change so things work better. Only noone understands a thing that I do. It's like maaaagic. Nothing in common there.

I have one friend in town who is not living in this house with me. We both like anime in general and vaguely video games. Barely see her because she's a bigger hikikomori than I am.

Starting to feel frustrated with where I live. There's nothing in Rutland but a few small stores and a bunch of strip malls. There's nothing really in Poutlney but a small main street.

I have noone to talk to outside of my house about things I enjoy doing, what few they are. And mostly that just entails "Look at this thing I made! Gimme feedback!"

Starting to feel inches away from flipping everything, grabbing Judy and driving off into the sunset or something.

just-- fuck everything.

So on Saturday, we had 48 deg weather for over 24 hours. Things melted, we could see pavement that hadn't been visible in months, the sidewalk ridge was low enough that I could see around it...

Then at about noon Sunday, the temp started dropping. And it's been slowly dropping since. The rain turned to freezing rain, then snow.

This morning, I peek out the window to find this.

There's been so much wind that there's a foot of snow against the door despite the porch.

I'm not good at estimating, but we have to have gotten at least 2 feet. And because of all the melting earlier, there's gotta be a thick sheet of ice under all that.

SO SICK OF WINTER. SO SICK OF IT. THIS WEATHER HAS BEEN INSANE! THIS IS THE WORST WINTER IN YEARS! ARG!

... soooo.

It's -23.7 deg out. [We have a "snow" day because of the extreme cold]

It's 66.5 deg in.

It should be 70 deg in.

The heater keeps kicking on and off.

There is a not to nice smell that smells kinda gassy in the stairwell.

Landlord says "Long as you have heat, probably nothing's wrong."

We can't even get into the basement to check cause -23.7 deg out ahahaha no, we are not going out side and around the house through the snow to get to the basement to check.

The upstairs heat is fine. It's radiant floor, not radiators. I'm pretty sure it's electric. We already moved the boys up there.

Much as I love this apartment...

I think we're gonna look for a new place come spring/summer.

Jim is never here, doesn't get things fixed in a timely manner [Still don't have a new vent/microwave in the kitchen.] does patch up jobs of most things [the molding in the kitchen that looks so nice was never attached to the wall and now it's warped because IT'S BEHIND THE SINK WHERE IT GETS DAMP.] and I don't feel comfortable with a lot of the things he does.

This is an expensive apartment. It worked out very nicely when Jim was still working on the 2nd apartment because he was here and could fix things. But he's never around. The basement is still always freezing, there is very little weather proofing (guess who pays the heating bill? Yep, it's us!) and it's starting to hit the Larry pattern where we're taking the fall for a crappy tenant in the other apartment because he's always catering to her, even though she keeps breaking shit and causing problems.

So yeah. Come spring, I think we're gonna start looking again. Love the apartment, love the location, getting so so tired of the shady landlording.

.... so. Next door came home last night.

She came over late last night to ask if we had heat because hers wasn't working. She had turned hers down to 55 before she left for break.

Didn't think anything of it last night.

But this morning, the downstairs bathrooom wasn't flushing right. No amount of plunging would fix it. So Sennet went down to the basement to check things out.

And heard water running.

Turns out that the pipes froze. And busted.

She's been back for less than 24 hours and she broke the house.

it's 13 degrees out and we have no water.

I really hope this is the last straw and Jim BOOTS HER ASS OUT.

It's kinda weird. Within the year I've gotten a few CDs from bands I used to listen to all the time. Got the latest Depeche Mode album and just....

didn't like it.

Listened to it once and then stuck it on the shelf. It was both at the same time, different than their earlier stuff, yet totally the same as their last album I got. Only I liked the last album (which I only just finally got the non-live version of the album of. ... I like the live one better. The studio cuts just... kinda... suck.) This one just... it didn't have any of the parts I liked and seemed to develop the parts I didn't. It was like the 5Ds of Depeche Mode. [god what a sentance :D] Disappointing, but whatever.

So then I also got the latest Tori Amos album. [or at least I think it's the latest, I haven't kept up with music at ALL] and after having it sit around for a month, mp3ed it and mixed it into the rotation.

And so far everything on it sounds exactly like her previous stuff. And I'm just as meh about it as I was about the DM album.

Also picked up a Metalica album I used to have in middle school and gave it a listen. And wow, this... kinda sucks. I used to really like this album and I'm just sitting here going "... there's nothing to this. What the hell, self."

Starting to wonder if I'm turning into one of those "NOTHING NEW" sorta people. @_@ Only not cause I'm still picking up soundtrack stuff, Jpop and mashups. I've actually gotten real fond of mashups between current pop and 80s stuff. And also leaning more towards dance/techno and some more mainstream pop. [At least I think it's mainstream, I haven't listened to the radio in ages, fuckall if I know what's popular. @_@]

I dunno. I used to pride myself on the fact that I liked different things than everyone else. But really...

I think I just like popular music.

Somehow it feels like admitting that is almost shameful or something. I dunno.

Yet at the same time, I'm very slow to introduce new music into my rotations.

Is this what it feels like to be hitting adulthood proper? Resistant to change, yet kinda cranky with the old stuff?

Sometimes I just look back at stuff I used to do and like and wonder why I stopped. Other times I wonder why I started.

I'm starting with the crafting thing again. The urge for making videos is still kinda there but keeps being sat on by things on the computer exploding ><. The theater bug is kinda... floating. (I blame my crap motivation for that)

I think this is why I'm not gonna do the grad school thing, and why I'm perfectly happy to stay at the job I'm at. I don't want to try going for a career kinda job where you are actually in a field or whatever. I'm in a job with a decent pay per hour, a great boss, and where I get to fiddle around with numbers and organize things. [something that's just been getting stronger the more I get to indulge in it. Though it's getting more refined to "oooh, I wanna see how..." dunno how much more C&C stats I'll e doing just because.. eh. I proved my point there. Research to be done is in another area, really. And doesn't require time stamping. SIDE RAMBLE]

It's like how I always was swapping majors. Floating interest. Like how the environmental thing is just... total back burner. Tired of reading labels, tired of not doing things because their wasteful. I think that's a lot of why I stopped crafting. But fuck it, making things is FUN. Doubt I'll go back to candling cause god that made a mess and then the candles just stat around, but I'm really enjoying playing around with stamps and now that I've realized "Oh hey! I can make cards for people! SWEET." it's really taking off. I think that was part of why it never went anywhere past hording stamps last time I was into this stuff [like, oh god, middle school? Mail order catalog and ordering a stamp with my full name, it HAD to be. (wonder if I still have those somewhere. AAAH NESTED PARENTHESES)]

So. Yeah. I think I lost my point in there somewhere. @_@

Maybe I should try and track down the music suggestions from people and actually... ya know.. follow up on them. ^^;;;;; Stop trying to pick up new stuff from old bands I liked and just acknowledge that I don't listen to them any longer.

Not getting rid of any of my cds because phhht, every time I do that, 2 years later I'm all "Dude, why did I get rid of that? T_T"

Oh yeah: First CD I ever got was Ace of Base - The Sign.

And I kind wish I still had it.

I LIKE CHEESY MUSIC.

*Feels better and finally ends this ramble*

Edit: Also. I need to do more with my photos. Even if it's just going through the old ones and uploading them somewhere if not taking more. STOP BEING SO LAZY, SELF.

Current Mood: contemplative

GAAAAAAAAAAH FREEZING RAIN AND HIGH WINDS FUUUUUUUUCK

God that was the worst drive home ever. fuuuuck weather.

So glad I never took off the snow tires. Oh god so glad. I would not have been able to get out of the parking lot elsewise.

This WIND has been going since last night... getting on like.. 18 hours of high winds wat. And then it's been freezing rain/hail since this morning.

Freezing rain going side waaaays fuuuck.

*is not leaving the house today oh hell no*

How are people going down the road so fast. Whaaat.

Fuck winter, it's freaking early November! GAH!

Planties update: We think the mystery not bean may be a gourd! Shaped like a butternut but not at all a butternut and FUZZY oh god it's fuzzy and so soft~

My work printer apparently was hungry. It ate part of itself. One of the belts that moves the paper along is just kinda hanging out, not attached to anything any more. *had toner nailpolish for a little while*

Actually had a nightmare last night. One that I physically broke out of (and nearly smacked Juchan upside the head doing so @_@.) Haven't had one of those in a long while. Purely physical based too. Was in a car and the person driving decided to just start driving around in a circle and turn the ride into a centrifuge even with me screaming for them to stop. They finally did for like.. 15 seconds. Then the went to start again. So I went to hit them and then I was awake. It made for a weird morning @_@

And I won something! free dvd aw yeah! Looks like a neat movie. Will watch at some point~

I have started working on knitting again! Current project: Crazy blankets! Using up started skeins and leftover bits, making rectangles with intent to sew em together. One's gonna be all roughly the same type of yarn, one is just gonna be LOTS OF RANDOM THINGS WHEEE.

Anxiety is yet again spiking, which is a problem. Taking steps to try and ease one of the causes, well see if it helps.

and it needs to stop being so hoooot so I can exercise more with out meeeeltttiing T_T

Another post of "oh hey I logged in" whee.

So I am apparently doing that not eating thing again. Where I don't quuuite remember what I ate yesterday in the "I think I just had an apple and some crackers WHOOPS" sort of way. So now I feel like @_@ and want to just sleeeeep.

WEEK AND A HALF TIL WORK STARTS OH GOD MAKE IT BE HERE SOONER @_@

12 days into the month and Kristen hasn't been here at all and thus, hasn't packed at all. Granted, she didn't really UNpack the entire time she was here so most of her books and DVDs are still in boxes but.. We have no idea when she's moving out. @_@ Or who we're getting in her place when she goes. @_@ But! Sennet is finally making progress on the loan for the year of rent she owes us! *flop*

And I now no longer have a hamster. Panda died sometime yesterday. Sennet buried her in the yard last night.

I don't really feel much regarding her, though. When Shou died, I was a wreck, sobbing my eyes out for hours. He was my first pet, after all. I sniffled when Jumpy died, and I think since then, I've been expecting Panda to join her.

Hamsters really don't make good pets. Panda was I think 2 years old. Shou was 3. It goes by far too quickly. And we didn't play with them much because we were always worried they'd jump out of our hands and hide under the sofa or get lost in the apartment.

I dunno. There's been talk of maybe getting guinea pig [and jokes about the name to give it if it's a squeaky/whiny one. Especially if it's a ginger.] but I dunno. Maybe we're just better off not having a pet for now.

Man. I have got to start eating right. Doesn't do me ANY good to have iron levels if I do this crap to myself. @_@

This is just apparently a day for LJ posts. Anyway!

( Rp natterings )

So. Yeah. Stuff. @_@ The TV's better, though! There was apparently this insane octopus of wires in the basement that just... oi. Which is why it wouldn't work right. So that's all better and maybe the headdesking stress of that whole mess will all go away now. @_@

Also, LJ: STOP EATIN' M' NOTIFICATIONS K'THANKS.