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Insanity
This may not make much sence because I have only been 'officaly' awake about 15 min and I'm slipping but...
The feeling where you want to dig your nails into your skull and rip out what you find so your mind can truly be released from the confines placed upon it and knowing that it would feel like that wonderful sensation when you pull off a bandaid or scab but knowing it would never help...
That feeling of being trapped between stages of life and not being able to do what is needed to do to be free of both because you are being held back and bound by expectations and limitations of the preset path you have been set upon.
That feeling that you're running and running towards a goal that keeps receading, like chasing a train, and wondering if you'll ever make it or if it's even worth the chase, but not knowing if there is anything else becides it.
Wondering if you ever held your own fate in your hand, if you would crush it to pieces and scatter it to the wind.
Wondering if you held your soul in your hands, if you would even be able to see it, and what it would look like. Blackened and chared as you dreamed or twisted and torn as you feel.
Blasting your mind with sensory overload just to purge it of the screaming of your own thoughts and the abyss that theatens to grow if not fed.
Staring at a blank peice of paper and the pencil in your hand and watching it shake as no words come.
Tearing and screaming at the world around you, half expecting it to crumble and revele a new reality behind.
Being caught in every movie and book you've ever had nightmares about and not being able to fly.
Waiting for the laws of reality to descintagrate around you and knowing what would be behind it.
Knowing something greater was out there and not knowing how to even get close, never the less to touch it.
Fueling the twisted mess of your brain with words you can't understand but the message you can feel.
'Don't you want to take a ride with me....
Through my world....'
The feeling where you want to dig your nails into your skull and rip out what you find so your mind can truly be released from the confines placed upon it and knowing that it would feel like that wonderful sensation when you pull off a bandaid or scab but knowing it would never help...
That feeling of being trapped between stages of life and not being able to do what is needed to do to be free of both because you are being held back and bound by expectations and limitations of the preset path you have been set upon.
That feeling that you're running and running towards a goal that keeps receading, like chasing a train, and wondering if you'll ever make it or if it's even worth the chase, but not knowing if there is anything else becides it.
Wondering if you ever held your own fate in your hand, if you would crush it to pieces and scatter it to the wind.
Wondering if you held your soul in your hands, if you would even be able to see it, and what it would look like. Blackened and chared as you dreamed or twisted and torn as you feel.
Blasting your mind with sensory overload just to purge it of the screaming of your own thoughts and the abyss that theatens to grow if not fed.
Staring at a blank peice of paper and the pencil in your hand and watching it shake as no words come.
Tearing and screaming at the world around you, half expecting it to crumble and revele a new reality behind.
Being caught in every movie and book you've ever had nightmares about and not being able to fly.
Waiting for the laws of reality to descintagrate around you and knowing what would be behind it.
Knowing something greater was out there and not knowing how to even get close, never the less to touch it.
Fueling the twisted mess of your brain with words you can't understand but the message you can feel.
'Don't you want to take a ride with me....
Through my world....'