Still purging.

[frannyan]

Normaly I'd be writing this in a text file somwhere, but this works well too.

I wonder if I'm going to pass any of my classes this semester. This apathy overwhelms, and where it doesn't, inadaquecy and the inablilty to understand or even figure out what I'm supose to do fill that slot.

I don't think I've learned anything in school. Ever.

All it's done is take what intelegence I had and put it in a box.

I think... when I have a child, I'll send him/her to a school like Zanna's. BEcause there it seems like there's a chance. No grades to bind... no tests to be taught by.

Testing.... ruins.

I can get 80s on tests. It doesn't mean I know anything.

I don't have the attention span to read texts. I can barely get my eyes to follow textbooks or photocopies there of....


I wish I could write on my own... I don;t know when I stopped being able to.

Maybe I'll go rewrite Sphere. Maybe I'll go looking through my archives and find something salvagable. Do something with Mirror maybe. Find something I once wrote and make it worth reading...

I hate feeling stupid... but I do so often...


Bleak desolation in a beam of Sun
Scraping as I crawl (Your Heart can't hear me)
Tearing bruising fall (Your hands can't hear me)
Thirsting raging blind (Your eyes can't hear me)
Racing against time (Your arms can't hear me)
Like and Angel You'll come, in a Dream, Precious one
(And) make me beautifully numb
Desperate panicked calls (The wind can't hear me)
Muffled weak and small (The sand can't hear me)
Pleading groping hands (The truth can't hear me)
Bleeding in the sand (Your Heart can't hear me)
Bleak desolation in a beam of Sun
Like and Angel You'll come, in a Dream, Blessed one
(And) make me joyfully numb
Razor fingers cling (The wind can't hear me)
Piercing demons sing (The sand can't hear me)
Twisting hollow Hell (The truth can't hear me)
Burning blisters swell (Your Heart can't hear me)
Sharp cut aching breath (Your arms can't hear me)
Choking scent of death (Your hands can't hear me)
Gruelling jaw-bone grind (Your eyes can't hear me)
Cursed by my own mind (Your Heart cant hear me)