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I think I know and understand this one... but I don;'t know how to fix it.
Kaworu and Houjun. 1st year. Being alone and needing.
".. our codependance..."
We strengthen each other...
But which are we? Does it matter? They both need each other...
"Kaworu?" she asked softly. "Am-- am I hurting you? Am-- am I the cause of all your pain?"
"No," he said immediately.
"Kaworu... please... you can tell me anything... I-- I need to know, because if it's true..." she trailed off. "I don't want to cause you pain..."
Kaworu looked down, brow furrowing. "I-- It hurts when I have to choose... between you and him... It hurts... that I can't be what you want... or what he needs..." He looked back up. "It's not your fault."
"But you are what I want...." she said, hugging him tighter. "Does-- does it seem that... you have to choose?"
Kaworu looked away, nodding. "I-- when he needs me... I can't be with you then. And you--" He paused. "You don't want me to go to him," he finished, quietly.
"I don't want to lose you to him..." she corrected softly.
Kaworu looked at her in incomprehension. "You couldn't."
She was quiet a moment. "Do you love him?" she asked, voice almost inaudible.
His eyes widened, almost in fear, and he avoided her gaze. "I-- I-- Yes," he said. He tensed as if expecting a blow.
She was quiet a long moment. "But-- but you still love me... right?" she asked, voice unsure and on the verge of tears.
Kaworu stared at her. "Houjun..." he breathed. "I am yours. I need you more than anything. I love you more than my life. Nothing will ever ever change that."
She gave a choked sob and clutched at him tightly, tears of relief spilling over.
He held her. "You don't ever have to be afraid you'll lose me. I'll love you beyond life. I'll love you until the world ends and everything spins into chaos, and then I'll still love you."
She hugged him tighter. "Kaworu..." Her voice shaking with every emotion she couldn't convey in words. After a few moments, she pulled herself together again. "When-- whenever there's the need... you can go to him... just always come back to me... please?" she said in a small voice.
Gratitude flooded him. "Always," he whispered. "When this world ends and another takes its place, I will still always come back to you. You ARE my world." He buried his face in her hair. "Thank you," he breathed.
Kaworu and Houjun. 1st year. Being alone and needing.
".. our codependance..."
We strengthen each other...
But which are we? Does it matter? They both need each other...
"Kaworu?" she asked softly. "Am-- am I hurting you? Am-- am I the cause of all your pain?"
"No," he said immediately.
"Kaworu... please... you can tell me anything... I-- I need to know, because if it's true..." she trailed off. "I don't want to cause you pain..."
Kaworu looked down, brow furrowing. "I-- It hurts when I have to choose... between you and him... It hurts... that I can't be what you want... or what he needs..." He looked back up. "It's not your fault."
"But you are what I want...." she said, hugging him tighter. "Does-- does it seem that... you have to choose?"
Kaworu looked away, nodding. "I-- when he needs me... I can't be with you then. And you--" He paused. "You don't want me to go to him," he finished, quietly.
"I don't want to lose you to him..." she corrected softly.
Kaworu looked at her in incomprehension. "You couldn't."
She was quiet a moment. "Do you love him?" she asked, voice almost inaudible.
His eyes widened, almost in fear, and he avoided her gaze. "I-- I-- Yes," he said. He tensed as if expecting a blow.
She was quiet a long moment. "But-- but you still love me... right?" she asked, voice unsure and on the verge of tears.
Kaworu stared at her. "Houjun..." he breathed. "I am yours. I need you more than anything. I love you more than my life. Nothing will ever ever change that."
She gave a choked sob and clutched at him tightly, tears of relief spilling over.
He held her. "You don't ever have to be afraid you'll lose me. I'll love you beyond life. I'll love you until the world ends and everything spins into chaos, and then I'll still love you."
She hugged him tighter. "Kaworu..." Her voice shaking with every emotion she couldn't convey in words. After a few moments, she pulled herself together again. "When-- whenever there's the need... you can go to him... just always come back to me... please?" she said in a small voice.
Gratitude flooded him. "Always," he whispered. "When this world ends and another takes its place, I will still always come back to you. You ARE my world." He buried his face in her hair. "Thank you," he breathed.