frannyan: (YinYang)
I'm just getting to a point where I just couldn't give a shit less about so many things. -_-

Nobody cares about the shit I do, that's fine, whatever. I don't really share any interests with people. I've stopped caring about card game stuff long ago. I cared more about the Sennen Item plotlines than the duels even back at the start and the cards are what they continued on about, so I kinda never really went too far with the sequels. But that's what half my friends list likes so I just kinda listen in and try and pay attention.

I don't like Shakespeare. I kinda sorta like running around like a monkey for theater and I'm starting to worry that I somehow signed up to be more in charge of something other than making sure things run smoothly and taking car of what's been set up. Nothing in common with that group either.

I'm not a teacher. I work in a school, think the whole system is full of shit and don't really like most of my coworkers. I like playing with the data and making it accessible and TRYING to start change so things work better. Only noone understands a thing that I do. It's like maaaagic. Nothing in common there.

I have one friend in town who is not living in this house with me. We both like anime in general and vaguely video games. Barely see her because she's a bigger hikikomori than I am.

Starting to feel frustrated with where I live. There's nothing in Rutland but a few small stores and a bunch of strip malls. There's nothing really in Poutlney but a small main street.

I have noone to talk to outside of my house about things I enjoy doing, what few they are. And mostly that just entails "Look at this thing I made! Gimme feedback!"

Starting to feel inches away from flipping everything, grabbing Judy and driving off into the sunset or something.

just-- fuck everything.
frannyan: (Default)
Went to take a photo of something to send Sennet and my cell phone went "oh noes, full memory card!" Take out the card, stick it in the computer and oh wow, nearly 300 photos on that card taken from March of last year. Looking through that stack showed an interesting slide show of the last year: Photos taken from inside restaurants, yard sale finds, my brother's birthday pie fight, the inside of Judy's parents basement, Passover, showing off odd things found in stores, Shakespeare on Main street, projects in process, food being cooked, the ruins of the back yard, the guinea pigs, parking lots, "We were here" photos, shots from the inside of a moving car, relatives, family gatherings...

Cameras themselves are amazing things. A press of a button and you have a record of a moment in time that would have otherwise passed in a moment.

Digital cameras were the next step: Film was suddenly reusable and insanely cheep. One memory card could hold hundreds of photos.

Cell phone cameras meant that you always had a camera with you. With multi media texting, you could send a photo instantly to someone far away.

The ability to visual record and remember your world and share it with others, available to everyone...

It's just kind amazing.
frannyan: (Default)
So I'm thinking maybe next year for New Years, maybe I aught to, ya know, do something.

New Years stopped feeling any different once staying up past midnight started being an everyday thing. I mean, even then it was just me and my brother staying up all night watching Marx brothers' movies or something.

I dunno. Just me and my lack of a handle on this whole time thing makes New Years just... well. Another day.

Yeah, IDK. Holidays yet again this year just kinda sailed on by without me having a clue. I need a life.
frannyan: (Default)
... and the instant I start typing that "Coming home to Terra" plays in all it's cheesy glory. Thank you computer, I missed you too.

So. Yeah. Got up at 6 am again today. Was antsy as hell for an hour before looking at the weather map and going "aw HELL NO I am not being snowed in at the In laws for 2 days." Judy and I got packing, woke the in laws, stuffed the car and got the hell out by like... 8-9ish.

So yeah. Me and my head cold self powered through the 4-5 hour drive and got the hell home. Only saw flurries.

It's snowing in NYC right now.


Because I'd rather ride out the rest of this miserable ass cold at home that with either set of parents.

But yeah. Other than being sick as hell, Xmas was decent. Would have been better if I could breeeeeth and thus sleeeeeeeeeeeep but hey, details. :D

We got a GPS (Judy has named it GLADOS because it kept trying to tell us to go a different way than we wanted to on the way home :D) which was a cool toy. Dad made faces at the guinea pigs, but everyone else loved em. (Well, Judy's dad was all "...." but whatever, daddies are daddies. :))

Fever is gone, YEAY and I am HOME so yeah.

It can snow now. :D
frannyan: (YinYang)
It's kinda weird. Within the year I've gotten a few CDs from bands I used to listen to all the time. Got the latest Depeche Mode album and just....

didn't like it.

Listened to it once and then stuck it on the shelf. It was both at the same time, different than their earlier stuff, yet totally the same as their last album I got. Only I liked the last album (which I only just finally got the non-live version of the album of. ... I like the live one better. The studio cuts just... kinda... suck.) This one just... it didn't have any of the parts I liked and seemed to develop the parts I didn't. It was like the 5Ds of Depeche Mode. [god what a sentance :D] Disappointing, but whatever.

So then I also got the latest Tori Amos album. [or at least I think it's the latest, I haven't kept up with music at ALL] and after having it sit around for a month, mp3ed it and mixed it into the rotation.

And so far everything on it sounds exactly like her previous stuff. And I'm just as meh about it as I was about the DM album.

Also picked up a Metalica album I used to have in middle school and gave it a listen. And wow, this... kinda sucks. I used to really like this album and I'm just sitting here going "... there's nothing to this. What the hell, self."

Starting to wonder if I'm turning into one of those "NOTHING NEW" sorta people. @_@ Only not cause I'm still picking up soundtrack stuff, Jpop and mashups. I've actually gotten real fond of mashups between current pop and 80s stuff. And also leaning more towards dance/techno and some more mainstream pop. [At least I think it's mainstream, I haven't listened to the radio in ages, fuckall if I know what's popular. @_@]

I dunno. I used to pride myself on the fact that I liked different things than everyone else. But really...

I think I just like popular music.

Somehow it feels like admitting that is almost shameful or something. I dunno.

Yet at the same time, I'm very slow to introduce new music into my rotations.

Is this what it feels like to be hitting adulthood proper? Resistant to change, yet kinda cranky with the old stuff?

Sometimes I just look back at stuff I used to do and like and wonder why I stopped. Other times I wonder why I started.

I'm starting with the crafting thing again. The urge for making videos is still kinda there but keeps being sat on by things on the computer exploding ><. The theater bug is kinda... floating. (I blame my crap motivation for that)

I think this is why I'm not gonna do the grad school thing, and why I'm perfectly happy to stay at the job I'm at. I don't want to try going for a career kinda job where you are actually in a field or whatever. I'm in a job with a decent pay per hour, a great boss, and where I get to fiddle around with numbers and organize things. [something that's just been getting stronger the more I get to indulge in it. Though it's getting more refined to "oooh, I wanna see how..." dunno how much more C&C stats I'll e doing just because.. eh. I proved my point there. Research to be done is in another area, really. And doesn't require time stamping. SIDE RAMBLE]

It's like how I always was swapping majors. Floating interest. Like how the environmental thing is just... total back burner. Tired of reading labels, tired of not doing things because their wasteful. I think that's a lot of why I stopped crafting. But fuck it, making things is FUN. Doubt I'll go back to candling cause god that made a mess and then the candles just stat around, but I'm really enjoying playing around with stamps and now that I've realized "Oh hey! I can make cards for people! SWEET." it's really taking off. I think that was part of why it never went anywhere past hording stamps last time I was into this stuff [like, oh god, middle school? Mail order catalog and ordering a stamp with my full name, it HAD to be. (wonder if I still have those somewhere. AAAH NESTED PARENTHESES)]

So. Yeah. I think I lost my point in there somewhere. @_@

Maybe I should try and track down the music suggestions from people and actually... ya know.. follow up on them. ^^;;;;; Stop trying to pick up new stuff from old bands I liked and just acknowledge that I don't listen to them any longer.

Not getting rid of any of my cds because phhht, every time I do that, 2 years later I'm all "Dude, why did I get rid of that? T_T"

Oh yeah: First CD I ever got was Ace of Base - The Sign.

And I kind wish I still had it.


*Feels better and finally ends this ramble*

Edit: Also. I need to do more with my photos. Even if it's just going through the old ones and uploading them somewhere if not taking more. STOP BEING SO LAZY, SELF.
frannyan: (Default)
So. Yeah. There's that 30 questions meme thing. Optimistic considering my posting derpitide, but here we go. :D

Day 01 - Introduce yourself

Hi! I'm Fran!


oh wait I have to actually do more than that don't I? Erm..

List of these things that I will no doubt forget very quickly )
frannyan: (Default)
The question! "What, if anything, would you guys say I'm passionate about/nerdy over/really into?"

The answers!

"Spreadsheets! :D"

Statistics, definitely a nerdy interest. :) Also a running joke from that context. :) The fact that I am itching to get back to work so I can get into the data and work it into a easily digested form? Yeah, this one is a check.

"Vegetable gardening~"

Almost! Granted, my garden this year is mostly veggies, that was mostly just out of what got put in. Really, gardening in general is a big hobby. I don't care if I get veggies or anything outta it, the leaves and flowers of squash I glee over. If I get something off the plant? Hey bonus!

"Roleplay, but that's cause that's really the main context I've seen you anyway. XD;;"

Ah, context friendship :D Actually, I don't think I'm at all passionate about RP. I enjoy it, but it's not anything I'd say I'm nerdy or really into. Just something that's fun and a way to be social and make friends.


This one needs no comment :D

"Judy, candles, gardening, Fushigi Yuugi no da!"

Context: Campus! Judy is still a given, candles... I haven't made one in at least 5 years now. Not since Fair Haven. I've gotten rid of most my candling supplies, haven't lit one in years [not since '02 I don't think, when I caught that pillow on fire GOOD JOB SELF!] Gardening is obvious since I had just posted photos o the garden. :) Fushigi I was really into in college. I still have the manga, but haven't really looked at it much. I don't even think it's still in my top 10 series. But it was my first anime, so...

"The theatre!"

Sort of yes and no. Theater is something I'm satelliting around a lot lately. Just finished up running props for the Tempest, did the big video project on the theater department for my senior project. It's an interest, and probably one that's growing. But I think in a lot of ways, it's a side shoot of the "wanting to help out" urge. Acting is just... not something I can do. Even though I took acting 2 and Paula thought I was wonderful, I still have way too much performance anxiety. I much prefer running around in the background, putting things together, keeping things running, being in the supporting position so that everything goes as it should. Ya know, like like what I have at work.


Lol RP lol. :) Not at all a strong thing.

So kinda interesting to see from my perspective what comes to mind from others. Also makes me think on what things I'm neglecting or just not showing.
frannyan: (Default)
I think this moment sorta sums up my life pretty well :D

UPS truck shows up: Awww yeah, package! *look out window. Notice size of package is freaking huge.* .. bleh. For Jim. *deflates* *goes and rechecks when MoO should get here* *notice it's sent post office instead* *notices delivery date is still today* Aawww yeah, package!

Relatedly: Anyone have any good strategies for dealing with anxiety attached to a specific person/situation? Cause really, I keep having this knee jerk overreaction whenever I see a specific person online and it's REALLY not good for me. @_@ Especially when there's starting to be spill over to things that are kinda related but very much not the same. [and no, sadly, blocking is not an option.]

Also: You never appreciate a nice, fast computer as much as you do after being on a crankbox. *pets Yadonushi* Oooh the work computers. @_@ The laptop is one of those huge brick types, only has 2 USB ports, still has the old style mouse port, floppy drive and weighs a tooon but isn't too bad compared to the desk machine with it's Pentium III (ha) slow chugging 10min to log you in in the morning oh god why does it take forever to load up MSWord, what is it even doing aaaah where did my windows go STOP TRYING TO UPDATE, ADOBE crankbox. I'm not even gonna try running mp3s on that thing, I let the lappy run ITunes now @_@. So very gonna see if I can wangle getting a better box down there over summer. *really hopes to be working with Eric again over summer, oh yes.*

I've started sorta re-creating the "How I do my job" manual I did for 504 cause Phhhht if I know where the files for it went, mebby Anne has them, IDK, cause I realized the "How to do EST" binder that Linda left me is OVERLY SPECIFIC to my position the first month I was there. Which, while helpful then, means it's... kiiiinda not helpful out of that context. It's telling me to go to her drive to click on a short cut to do this thing, doesn't really explain how to get Edline to work etc etc.

So I'm going through and putting together manual pages for how to do stuff. Partly so next year after summer break when I sit down and go "... oh shit, it's been months, how do I do this again?" I can look it up. :D Just the screencaps for the "Processing Student Schedules" is already 6 pages long. ^^;;; Administrator Plus is nice, but oh lordy, they bury crap in menues like you would not believe.

Lessee... what else....

Sennet is baaaack, which is yeaaaaaay and campus is back in session which is also yeaaaay. Life is back to normal so happy! I need to start stalking around campus with the camera and camcorder again once it's spring, and start doing more archiving/video editing stuff. Maybe stalk Paula round for an afternoon. I got a new mini tripod that goes to about 41 inches tall which is pretty neat that I can just shove in a bag and go with. (since, while the full size tripod is awesome, toting it around is kinda not, cause that thing is like.. 4 feet in compact mode. ^^;; And upstairs. I should bring it back down here so I can grab it and go or something. ANYWAY)

... yeah I think that about covers it for now. I'm gonna go play Oblivion now. :D


frannyan: (Default)

September 2012

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