frannyan: (Default)
I'm just a bundle of ARG and repressed flailing and stress so bad right now. I want that house. I want it bad. I want to get out of this fucking apartment and into a place that doesn't have horrible drafts and an abusive manipulative landlord. The house for rent we went to see is NICE and the lady showing us was all "and if that breaks, we'll fix it, my husband is handyman, he fixes everything." It has a semi finished basement [aka, THERE IS A FLOOR IT IS NOT JUST DIRT] and attic [Ditto, there is a floor, it could be a spare bedroom as long as it's not winter] Landlord takes care of some of the grounds work [the flower beds/landscaping stuff.] there is a HUGE garden plot, a front and back enclosed porch EVERYTHING LOOKS SO NICE AND NOT HALF ASSED T_T. There is even a two car garage WITH STORAGE BEHIND.

And you know how you can walk into a place and tell if it's well isolated/sealed? Yeah. There's even new windows that are the double pained glass.

But yeah. Nice sized house. Not to big but we don't NEED big. And the landlord takes care of the water bill, and they only used around 350 gallons of oil last winter. Which, considering this house has gone through 300 gallons in the past TWO MONTHS in the SPRING end of winter?

Yeah. We will be saving so much utilities money on this place.

Do want. Do want so bad I am ANTSY AS ALL FUCK.

I really just... I need the change. I need the nice the lack of freaking ANTS and assholes and noisy parties next door and people walking off with my bike and moving my solar stakes and just ARG.
frannyan: (YinYang)
I'm just getting to a point where I just couldn't give a shit less about so many things. -_-

Nobody cares about the shit I do, that's fine, whatever. I don't really share any interests with people. I've stopped caring about card game stuff long ago. I cared more about the Sennen Item plotlines than the duels even back at the start and the cards are what they continued on about, so I kinda never really went too far with the sequels. But that's what half my friends list likes so I just kinda listen in and try and pay attention.

I don't like Shakespeare. I kinda sorta like running around like a monkey for theater and I'm starting to worry that I somehow signed up to be more in charge of something other than making sure things run smoothly and taking car of what's been set up. Nothing in common with that group either.

I'm not a teacher. I work in a school, think the whole system is full of shit and don't really like most of my coworkers. I like playing with the data and making it accessible and TRYING to start change so things work better. Only noone understands a thing that I do. It's like maaaagic. Nothing in common there.

I have one friend in town who is not living in this house with me. We both like anime in general and vaguely video games. Barely see her because she's a bigger hikikomori than I am.

Starting to feel frustrated with where I live. There's nothing in Rutland but a few small stores and a bunch of strip malls. There's nothing really in Poutlney but a small main street.

I have noone to talk to outside of my house about things I enjoy doing, what few they are. And mostly that just entails "Look at this thing I made! Gimme feedback!"

Starting to feel inches away from flipping everything, grabbing Judy and driving off into the sunset or something.

just-- fuck everything.
frannyan: (YinYang)
Got a call from mom yesterday about my uncle being in the hospital because he wound up severely jaundiced. Found a tumor behind his liver and gall stones.

And cancer.

And today they found out that the cancer's already metastasized. It's in his stomach and intestines already. If they do surgery, there's a 10% chance of survival. With those odds, he's refusing it.

Grandma got told today about the cancer. Mom just told her yesterday about the jaundice. Doesn't want to tell her about the rest and I don't blame her.

Told me yesterday to send a get well card. Told me today to change it to a "Thinking of you."

Because there's very little chance he will get better.

Profile

frannyan: (Default)
frannyan

September 2012

S M T W T F S
      1
2345678
9 101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
30      

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jul. 28th, 2017 06:51 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios